Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Islamic Etiquette on Wedding Night

Celebrating Wedding Night

Question and Answer Details

Islamic Etiquette on Wedding Night

Question : I would like to know if there are some rites or something in the Sunnahregarding the consummation of marriage. I mean if there is a way in the Sunnah to have the first sexual intercourse with one's wife. Jazakum Allahu khayran.
Intimate relations

Answer : In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

We really appreciate the great confidence you have in us and hope these humble efforts of ours be of great benefit to you. We implore Almighty Allah to help us fulfill this task of disseminating the word of truth and enlightening all people with the greatteachings of Islam.

As regards the question you posed, we would like to make it clear to you the great keenness Islam shows to the concept of marriage, as being the lawful means for fulfilling the natural sexual urge and the establishment of a peaceful family and pure society. This is clear in the following statements of the eminent Muslim scholar Sheikh Yusuf Al-Qaradawi:

The Qur'an emphasizes the spiritual objectives of marriage, making them the foundations of marital life. These objectives are realized in the peace of mind which comes through wholesome sexual experience with the spouse whom one loves, in the enlargement of thecircle of love and affection between the two families united through marriage, and in the nurturing of affection and tenderness among the children under the loving care of their parents. These are the objectives mentioned by Allah in the verse that reads:

(And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell with them in tranquility, and He has put love and mercy between you. Indeed, in this are signs for those who reflect.) (Ar-Rum 30:21)

At the same time, the Qur'an does not neglect the sensual aspect and the physical relationship between husband and wife. It guides human beings to the best path, fulfilling the demands of the sexual urge while avoiding harmful or deviant practices.

Coming to the question posed, it should be noted also that making love to one’s wife on the wedding night does not differ from lovemaking at any other time save in the sense that being the first time together, it is given special care and cautiousness. The Sunnah of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) offers us the best guidance in this very special night.

Focusing on this issue, we would like to quote the following from The Kuwaiti Encyclopedia of Islamic Jurisprudence. It reads:

Muslim jurists are of the view that on their first time together on the wedding night a Muslim groom is recommended to place his hand on the bride’s forehead and seek Allah’s blessing for them both. This is based on the hadith of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) that reads: “When one of you marries a woman or buys a servant (this was before the abolition of slavery), let him say

‘O Allah! I seek from You her good and the good You created in her; and I seek refuge in You from her evil and the evil You created in her.’”

It is also a Sunnah to offer two rak`ahs (prayer units) in which the husband leads his wife. This is a sign of showing obedience and submission to Allah when they are still on the threshold of their new family life. Also, a husband is recommended to offer his wife something to drink after having some sips of the same glass. On making love (doing sex) to his wife for the first time, a Muslim husband should say:

“O Allah! Keep Satan away from us and keep him away from any offspring You may bless us with.”

Remember Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) said: Among the most evil people in the sight of Allah on the Day of Judgement will be a man who is intimate with a woman and she with him, then he spreads her secret. (Muslim) so be cautious not to disclose bedroom secrets.

Dua (prayer) for a righteous family

Marriage is a union of souls, in the deepest sense that Allah (God) joins two souls together so that they may enjoy tranquility and stability in a marital home filled with sincere love and compassionate mercy.

Allah says in Quran:

"Among His Signs Is That He Created Companion ( Mate, Spouse) For You From Among Yourself, So That You May Find Tranquility With Them, And (He) Set Love And Mercy Between You. Surely In This Are Signs For People Who Give Thought" Surah Ar-Rum, 21 (30:21).

May Allah give all believing men and women, married or looking to marry, the towfeeq (grace) to be the ideal Muslim husband and the ideal Muslim wife with His Divine help and guidance.

The Importance of a good wife to her husband (and of course vice versa) is Great to Allah (God). Nothing can illustrate the point better than the Qur'anic statement which describes the righteous people as those who pray:

"Rabba-na hab la-na min azwaji-na wa dhuriyyati-na qurrata a'yunin wa aj'al-na li al muttaqin imama"

"Our Lord! give us spouse and children who will be the joy( and the comfort ) of our eyes, and guide us to be models of righteous (make us Leader of God-concious people). " (Qur'an 25:74)

May Allah bless all present and future marriages with love, happiness, peace, and success. Inshallah,you will be blessed with God fearing spouse.


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